My Ugly baby.
There it is, it is mine, no one else’s but mine. I am solely responsible for its creation. It is my ugly baby. I will have to live with it the rest of my life and make sure that it grows up to be the best it can be and hopefully make the world a better place.
My ugly baby is my body of art. A mass of work that will always be unfinished and full of doubt and insecurity. No matter how ugly, no one is hard hearted enough to abandon their baby. It contains a part of me and it is my future, in a way. After I am gone it will speak of how responsible and diligent I was as a creator and caretaker.
Taking care of this baby will always be a source of fear, doubt and worry. What if I am not good enough, what if I can’t handle the pressure or what if I don’t have anything to give to my ugly baby? All questions that matter if I want to do this right.
I do have dreams for my ugly baby. It would grow up to be extraordinary, not just another body of creative expression, but something that truly rises above the rest. I want my baby to be strong, wise and able to stand the test and critics of time. Maybe I am putting too much hope on my ugly baby. Maybe it is destined for a simple and plain life, a life that does not disturb the status quo. But I do want the best for it. I will always seek to spur it on to greater things, that is what a good caretaker is supposed to do, right? No matter how ugly it is now, it could turn out to be some thing beautiful and full of beauty. It could make a small change upon the world.
My ugly baby could be an inspiration for other ugly babies around the world. Ugly babies rise up and unite! One of ours has triumphed and yours can too! Any thing that starts out ugly can become beautiful with love, grace and patience. There is hope for all of us, or at least we hope in hope.
The only thing I can do now is claim this ugly baby as mine, all mine. My full responsibility and duty is to see this creation go as far as it can go and let grace take it the rest of the way. Maybe we will meet up in heaven and have wonderful stories to tell. Until then, we have the daily challenge of making life as straight as possible for it and getting it on its own feet. My baby will go places that I never will and I must make sure that it has all the resources possible to succeed. Being a poor caretaker weighs on me sometime. All the things I wish I could bestow and provide for my baby are hindered by the failures in my own life. It will have to do.
You can only give your art what you have, but do not neglect it because of doubt or fear. I feel encouraged that life will reward a sincere and generous heart and any effort to make the world more beautiful is a gift in itself.
From one who thinks and cares, m.
